I remember speaking to an amazing woman a few days after we lost Leo, who had written so eloquently about her experience with losing her son. She said ‘the grief will always be with you, but it does get lighter with time.’ Then, I couldn’t see how that was possible, the grief was consuming and felt infinite. However, now I find those words resonate so well and I have found that light and happiness in life again. Leo has taught us so much about life and he will always be a part of our family.
I am extremely grateful and lucky to be blessed with a beautiful and healthy daughter. I know this isn’t the case for every family. My second pregnancy was mentally challenging and I was on bedrest from 8 weeks. I was lucky to be looked after by an amazing Consultant who had been with us through losing Leo.
I found a few things helped me along the way, in addition to having therapy. I wrote almost daily. I haven’t gone back to my diaries yet as I think it is too raw but I found it very therapeutic. I had a vision board on my bathroom mirror where I had written positive milestones in relation to my pregnancy and beyond. I also had my favourite crystal bracelet that says ‘I can’ made for me by a friend.
Leo died two days after BLAW so it is always a time I dread, but the day comes and my husband and I always choose to do something together to celebrate and remember him.
BLAW is always a challenging week for bereaved parents. I know it can bring up many different emotions and complex feelings. There are some amazing Charities that can offer support to anyone suffering and finding this week particularly hard such as Sands and Tommy’s. I will be joining in the Wave of Light on Friday to remember all the babies gone too soon and to show support for friends and other families who are part of the #1in4 and for the families wishing for a baby themselves.
Sending so much love to the community and remember take it at your own pace. xx
Real Parents, Real Stories