Humans have a negative search bias. Our brain defaults to scan for “what’s wrong” instead of “what’s right”. Some of us have a stronger negative search bias than others, and I’ve found when my anxiety is high, so is my ability to identify “what’s wrong”. This psychological phenomenon makes sense to me: in order to survive in the wild, we have to constantly scan the environment for “what’s wrong”. A tree branch breaking could be that bear coming to eat me.
But our kids aren’t bears (most of the time ). Hopefully, most of us don’t need to constantly scan the environment for what’s wrong in order to survive. But, our brains still do.
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I believe the most powerful way we can support our children’s emotional development is to take a look in the mirror and get curious about our own behaviors and feelings. This awareness and compassion for ourselves transfers to empathy and confident leadership for our children. “Low-simmering behaviors” is a term I coined during our Stay-At-Home […]
Navigating social situations with young kids can feel tricky sometimes especially when other people’s children are involved. It can be easy to slip into “performative parenting” when we parent for the audience rather than our child. My go-to tool for the early childhood social scene is: narration, curiosity, and translation. Narration suspends judgement, so our […]
How do we make a connection with kiddos when they’re engaged in behavior that is upsetting, annoying, or downright dangerous? First: always establish safety. Remove objects, “catch” children, bring them to a safe place. Then interpret the behavior’s message: To continue viewing… Get FREE, unlimited access to all content You must sign up to view […]