I believe the most powerful way we can support our children’s emotional development is to take a look in the mirror and get curious about our own behaviors and feelings. This awareness and compassion for ourselves transfers to empathy and confident leadership for our children.
“Low-simmering behaviors” is a term I coined during our Stay-At-Home orders because I could feel the simmering energy building. If the heat turned-up ever so slightly, the emotional pot would boil over, sometimes exploding.
These are the behaviors that seem to just drag-out, and slowly chip away at our resolve. They slowly let out “steam” for our children, who are trying their best to regulate, but just can’t do it by themselves.
They’re a signal to the caregivers: something isn’t quite right and they can’t explain it. This happens to me if I’m going through the day on autopilot (unconsciously). I feel overwhelmed with life, and I end up snapping about something insignificant, like my husband eating all the leftovers I had planned to eat for lunch (#reallife, y’all).
Being aware of these behaviors, the effect they have on me, and WHY they are so doggone disregulating has been a game-changer for my ability to find my calm.
Start today by just bringing awareness to these behaviors and your reactions.