Mental healthPregnancyPhysical health

When you first find out you're pregnant, a number of thoughts run through your head.

'Will it be a boy or a girl?''What will their name be?''Am I ready for this?' But the chances are, if you have experienced an eating disorder and/or body dysmorphia, there will be others that join them. 'How will I deal with my increased hunger?' 'How will I cope with my body changing during pregnancy?''Will it trigger me?' At one point, I was so sensitive to the way that my body looked, if I gained just a few pounds, I’d feel it. My clothes would feel uncomfortable, my skin would feel tight and itchy. I just wanted to grab at fat and pull it all off. I'd sign up for weight loss diets, follow training programmes until I was exhausted and forever lamented about the fact that I just "didn't have enough willpower".Being dissatisfied with my own body was one of the things that kept feeding my eating disorder for so many years. When I got pregnant, it had been 7/8 years since I had been in treatment. I had been in a really good place with my body image and my relationship with food and exercise for many years.But knowing that my body was going to change (and change very dramatically) felt a bit daunting, as I had no clue what to expect and knew that it had the potential to be a challenge.
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