Binky Felstead: ‘Parenting Is Far From Rainbows And Butterflies’
Binky writes about her miscarriage, second-time motherhood and why she’s launched a platform to help parents navigate those tricky times.
Whether I was trying to conceive, first time mum to India, struggling through my miscarriage at 10 weeks or needing to refresh my memory about all things boobs and nappies when Wolfie was born, the one thing I have learnt is that parenting is far from rainbows and butterflies. The fact is, every parent has a different journey and although you can never compare any of them, one thing I now know for sure is that the journey for each and every one of us is full of challenges, highs and lows. Regardless of how easy it was for your best friend to fall pregnant with baby number 1, we all have a story!
My parenting journey began where although delighted at the news I was going to be a mum for the first time, being the first of my friends to fall pregnant with India, I felt like a bit of an island. I would literally get lost in black holes online for hours, often finding myself on chat forums trying to work out what bfn and bfp meant!! I basically ended up finding support in other first time mama friends and we ended up creating a whatsapp group aptly named ‘Wild Mammas’ which is where we would begin sharing all kinds of advice from specialists and their contacts details with each other from fertility issues to sleep (or should I say lack of), routines, tantrums, best products, recipes and even nanny advice – as well as letting our hair down and trying to escape our families with nights out!
To be honest, a huge missing piece was that I never really knew where to turn to for advice – I wasted hours of time online, often not finding what I was looking for or sifting through conflicting, outdated, anecdotal and incorrect advice from other mums, rather than qualified experts. The internet is an absolute minefield when trying to conceive, pregnant and having babies – there’s just so much information that it’s daunting and hard to know where to start. My friends and I generally found we would much rather go with personal recommendations and word of mouth than trust a random stranger on the internet.
Then it was my turn to experience the lows, I hadn’t realised until my miscarriage, how blessed I was with having a relatively straight forward pregnancy with India and falling pregnant so easily – I was naive enough to assume the next one would be as straightforward, having had two early scans as I was concerned I was bleeding. They found a ‘very strong’ heartbeat. However, on the third scan I was told ‘I’m afraid there’s no heartbeat’. When speaking to a few close friends about our situation, we learned that some of them too have had miscarriages in the past. I asked them why they’ve never said anything, and they just said they felt they couldn’t, or shouldn’t talk about it and how they didn’t know who or where to turn to.
All those reasons above, I decided to launch bloss with my co-founder Steph Desmond (& fellow Wild Mama), who knows a thing or two about start ups, having launched and scaled Uber in the UK. Bloss was born! Our mission being to connect people with some of the most credible, trusted and user rated professionals, whether they are looking for help with fertility, birth-prep, sleep training, nutrition, behavioural support, education, style, legal and financial advice or managing their family’s mental wellbeing, there has never been an easier way to find it, all in one place.
With bloss you can now access a one-stop-shop of credible, trusted and user-rated experts who parents-to-be, parents and caregivers can now easily discover and interact with at the touch of a button. We make what is an extremely challenging journey of highs and lows that little bit easier; enabling you to book in-person consultations, video calls, snack on free bitesize advice, download resources, shop recommended products and chat with your community to help navigate your entire parenting journey from trying to conceive to parenting teenagers. There has never been an easier way to find help, all in one place.
Since having India, fast forward four years and despite my struggles, I now have a healthy baby boy, Wolfie. The fun of course doesn’t stop here, which is where bloss has come in again… swiftly realising that every baby is different, I have already sought help from tongue tie experts, sleep consultants and cranial osteopaths to name a few on my the platform – none of which I ever needed for India!
Ultimately, I am so proud to have launched a business that I can see really helping so many parents, want-to-be parents and caregivers out there. It’s incredibly uplifting to know that bloss is available to help anyone who is experiencing the same highs and lows of parenting. Our mission is to provide support and information for anyone who’s experiencing challenges of parenting, which includes both women and men and I hope you find bloss as useful as we do.